Out trusty interns have crunched the numbers and discovered these ominous trends for the coming century.
Since 1980 the obesity rate has increased 36% to an astonishing 64% of the population. At this rate it will take less than 20 years for the entire population to be overweight.
Prediction: you are probably already fat. If not, you will be chubby by 2020 and morbidly obese by 2030.
In 1980 the homosexuality rate was approximately 2%. Thanks to all those gay TV shows (like ‘Friends’ and ‘News’) the rate is now about 6%. And with 24/7 access to gay sex thanks to the internet, more and more children will embrace this fun-loving lifestyle, sparking an even larger increase in the coming decades.
Prediction: someone you know watches gay TV. You will watch gay TV by 2012. You will be gay by 2020. Everyone will be gay by 2075. Humanity will die out by 2200.
The prison population has grown even faster than fat gay sex, with an whopping increase in the prisoner population of 309% between 1980 and 2000. At this rate, 100% of the population will be in jail by the year 2063.
Prediction: If you are reading this website you are probably already in prison.